Watch it!

Watch It!

We’d all better watch it! Rarely does a week go by without yet another report of a Christian leader’s flagrant immorality. Sometimes we hear of more than one, and each one is devastating for a family and the family of faith. Those of us heavily invested in the soul strength of Christian leaders are especially grieved and challenged. What more can we do?

It never stops. Despite the abundance of books (including mine), lectures and podcasts warning of the dangers, sometimes even those who have written the best books, and given the best lectures and voiced the best podcasts are found guilty of very bad behavior themselves.

I’m now treading in dangerous territory. What’s to say the same accusations couldn’t one day be leveled against me … or you? The truth is that no one is beyond temptation. That’s why the apostle Paul wrote to his young protégé Timothy, saying: “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, so that everyone may see your progress.” (I Timothy 4:16 NIV).

Clearly immorality isn’t new. It’s been around for a very long time, even among Christians… sadly, even among the ranks of our most highly regarded leaders. Those are the grievous stories that are regularly rocking the evangelical world. I grieve each one for the shame and pain that they bring. The collateral damage is truly incalculable. One woman just commented that a non-Christian friend she has been sharing with over the last four years, and who seemed to be opening to the Gospel, now is not. She asks what’s going on among those who preach the truth but don’t practice it?

Clearly, it’s not enough to watch our doctrine; we must also watch our life! The two are not mutually exclusive; we need to keep an eye on both. While some these days are waffling on fundamental truths of Scripture such as the definition of gender or marriage, we must not. And while others are privately (and sometimes even publicly) going beyond reasonable relational limits, we must not.

When I began in ministry a half century ago, I was warned a lot about the need for doctrinal purity; I wasn’t warned much about the need for personal purity. Back in that ancient era it was common for pastors to counsel women alone or even to make pastoral visits to women in their homes alone. Sounds crazy I know, but it’s true. In fact, when I started out, if you didn’t do that you would be thought to be derelict in your pastoral duties, or overly suspicious of someone’s character and not even confident in your own. 

It's shocking to remember those days and to realize that my ministry could have ended fifty years ago. Here’s my cautionary story – it’s a true one. An attractive young woman new to our new church was interested in meeting with me. Her friend Betty told me that her friend (I’ll call her Robyn) wanted to meet with me about baptism and church membership. She was ready. I was slightly suspicious but naively arranged the appointment to fulfill my pastoral calling and the expectations of others. After all, she was ready. 

Ready she was. When I arrived, I quickly discerned it was a set up. Not only was Robyn dressed seductively, but she had romantic music playing and then quickly stirred the conversation to a graphic sexual topic. 

By the grace of God, I was scared and soon excused myself. I was surprised to discover that I was disgusted by what this attractive gal said and did. I never imagined that God would protect me like that. To this day I consider it to be divine intervention that saved me. The very next Sunday, Betty (who was the sister of one of our elders) came to me after the worship service. She apologized for her friend saying, “Robyn told me what she tried to do.” I tried to play dumb as if I didn’t really understand. I’m sure Betty knew that I knew exactly what she was referring to. I may have been dull and dumb to have gone there, but I wasn’t dull and dumb about what could have happened there!

My ministry could have ended when I was just 25! Sadly, that’s not the only close call I’ve ever had. And I’m not naïve; it could happen again because I’m not dead yet! As one old priest is reported to have said, “I wouldn’t consider myself immune to temptation until I was in heaven for at least three days!” All of us should assume the same thing.

So, what’s the solution to insulate yourself from temptation while still here on earth? Truthfully, there are no easy answers, much less guarantees to offer. What I do have is reality. As long as you have a pulse you may still be tempted sexually. But as Martin Luther famously said, “While you can’t keep the birds from flying over your head, you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.” So, here are a few suggestions.

•            Admit your temptation vulnerability to God. He won’t be surprised.

•            When you’re tempted, tell someone about it. Preferably that should be your spouse and another person of trust. You are only as sick as your secrets.

•            Guard your heart. The goal should be never to seek sexual gratification in anyone or anything other than the person you are married to.

•            Be transparent and vulnerable about your struggles, but only in a circle of safe people. Yes, those confidants may be hard to find; but find them and cultivate them you must!

I just finished an in-depth conversation with a close friend. We’re both deeply concerned about the crises of immorality currently surrounding us. We not only grieve them, but we are also renewing our efforts to do what we can about them. That begins with us. I asked Ken who he would call if he were seriously tempted. He assured me that I would be on his speed-dial and that I wasn’t the only one. Good for Ken and for me.

Who would you call? For those in our growing Covenant Connections network that should be easy to answer. We now have nearly 200 leaders in over 30 active groups and scores of others who have been in these groups. If that’s you, you are not alone and you are not without excuse. If that’s not you, we are ready to help.

Every church deserves a leader who can honestly say, “I have no secrets and it’s well with my soul.” If this is to be true, then the leader must be actively engaged in a soul enriching group. If you’re not in one right now, don’t fool yourself; you are in great danger. So do something about it before disaster devours you and those you hold dear. If you’re doing life alone, you’re not as strong as you think you are. The isolated person is the most vulnerable person.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8.

“To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy – to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forever more. Amen!” Jude 24-25

Grace and Peace,