Tears

Tears

I’m not much of a cry baby, and you’re probably not either. Last week another of our good neighbors just moved away. I warmly shook Larry’s hand, but I shed no tears. Come to think of it, the same was true for every one of our neighbors that have moved away over the last twenty years. Even though I liked them (at least most of them) I shed no tears when they left.

It’s sobering to me that over the last two decades 80% of our little neighborhood has turned over. Yet I have never cried over any of those departing. By contrast, when the apostle Paul left Ephesus, it was a far different story as recorded in Acts 20:36-38. 

When he had finished speaking, he knelt and prayed with them. They all cried as they embraced and kissed him good-bye. Most of all, they were sad because he had said that they would never see him again. 

With few exceptions, I never expect to see any of the fifty neighbor families that have moved away. Yet even so, I haven’t shed a tear. Not one. By contrast I was arrested by a question that I read again in The Soul Strength Discovery Journal. “Who would weep if they knew they were talking to you for the last time?”

A few years ago, I wrote that question myself and this morning it finally hit home for me. The question prompted me to write a few names. While a few of my neighbors might shed a tear (very few!) the rest who came to mind are almost all guys I have long invested in, some over decades!

Growing older inevitably means losing loved ones. I’ve already lost grandparents, parents, a sister and most all my aunts and uncles. Sooner or later the ones who remain will lose me. Hopefully a few tears will be shed. But apart from family, most of us rarely shed tears over the deaths of those we have known and admired. It’s just a fact. While we may be sobered and saddened by their passing, we’re not likely to break down with actual tears.

So, who will cry for you?  I understand that some Native Americans have a saying: “When you were born you cried, and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice!”

A couple of buddies of mine are both brothers and pastors. One served a church of less than a thousand and the other a congregation of over 15,000. The one who served the far larger church said that when he died more people would attend his funeral than would attend the funeral of his brother. However, Bob said that far more people would be crying when his brother John died, than would be crying when he died! 

“Jesus wept.” That’s the shortest verse in the Bible but one of the most profound. When Jesus arrived at the tomb of his good friend Lazarus, Jesus broke down and cried. Why? I can think of three reasons. 

·      First, Jesus loved him deeply. The two of them were very close; therefore, Jesus was moved with deep grief.

·      Secondly, Jesus was also greatly grieved because He cared about the sisters of Lazarus who were overwhelmed with grief, and who no doubt were struggling with some potential insecurity as a result of their loss.

·      Thirdly, Jesus knew that after He raised Lazarus from the dead His good friend would be removed from the place of glory only to one day face the death experience all over again!

It takes a man to cry! Certainly losing good friends leads to deep grief. I’ve cried over the loss of many, and here’s what they have in common:

·      I’ve known them, or their families deeply for a long time.

·      They died unexpectedly or tragically.

·      We’ve shared consequential life shaping experiences.

Who might weep over the loss of you? When the day comes for my final departure, I expect increasingly few to be teary. As I soon celebrate my 77thbirthday the actuarial tables indicate I likely have ten years yet to go. If that’s true, by the time I reach the age of 87 I expect that far more left here will be celebrating with me rather than grieving for me. That’s the way I want it to be and why I’ve asked that quality ice cream be served. I hope that any sadness will be overwhelmed by celebration!

“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16: 8-11 

Grace and Peace,