Falling or Rebounding?

The latest church news shook me and saddened me.  The ministry of yet another highly influential Christian leader suddenly ended in disgrace. The topic was current events as I spoke with several dozen pastors last week. We all grieved together.

The latest leader ending in disgrace has had immense international influence. At the age of 68 he now leaves his ministry in crisis. While his sin was far from the worst we have seen illustrated in recent years, it was more than a mere embarrassment, it was inexcusable.

Everyone fears being accused of the inexcusable. I was reminded of that while re-reading a powerful book. Gordon MacDonald is a masterful writer and the author of many books, including Ordering Your Private World. That’s the first book of his I ever read back in 1985, so two years later when I heard the news that he had been forced to resign his ministry in disgrace I was stunned. 

Here’s his confession that’s included in the introduction of his book, Rebuilding Your Broken World, from 1988.

I am a broken-world person because a few years ago I betrayed the covenants of my marriage. For the rest of my life I will have to live with the knowledge that I brought deep sorrow to my wife, to my children, and to friends and others who have trusted me for many years.

Most pastors live with the realization that they too are vulnerable to a fall. One friend just told me that he has told the Lord he would rather die than suffer a disgrace that would shatter his family. I resonate! What we all know is, “…if you think you are standing firm, be careful you don’t fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.”

This is common knowledge within the fraternity of Christian leaders. Another good pastor friend told me that after wrapping up a 17-year ministry he surprised his wife and even himself on the final Sunday. After it was all over he went home, crawled into bed, and wept with relief.

I’ve never forgotten his vivid testimony. What he said humbly documented both his heart and his humanity. This good man experienced a catharsis as he was finally freed from a long-term burden. The release of tears was a letting go of heavy responsibility and from the fear of not finishing well. He said, “I knew that while many things about my ministry were disappointing, I also knew that by God’s grace I never brought shame to the church!” This man finished his local church ministry well - more in love with his Lord and his family at the end than at the beginning!

It doesn’t always happen that way. While King David finished his days still as a devoted servant of The Most High God, he was mostly estranged from his family. In fact, at the end of his days his family was in disarray, and it wasn’t even his wife at his side. You may remember that at the very end of his life David’s staff recruited a young virgin to sleep by his side to keep him warm. Think about it. King David died in the arms of a stranger. No leader wants to finish like that!

How do you want to finish, while falling or while rebounding and rebuilding? Here’s an interesting insight from Rebuilding Your Broken World:

Studies suggest that more than half of American mid-life males live with at least one secret in the past of their personal lives, and these men believe its revelation would bring about catastrophic consequences for them and those close to them. If this is true, a lot of people are living unhealthy lives today. We need to look hard at the nature of of our relationships to see if we encourage carrying secrets by making it difficult for people to come to the truth about themselves.

Here’s the truth, we all fall short of the glory of God! Falling is something we all have in common. What we don’t all have in common is rebounding and rebuilding. That is, after the awareness of our sin, do we confess and turn from it, or do we hide it or deny it? 

This I often remember from Proverbs 28:13, “People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.” Let’s face it, we’re only as sick as our secrets. The fear of discovery is deadly. That’s another reason why we all need robust relationships of depth. We need safe people who allow us to be open and who encourage us to walk in the light.

Do you have any active friendships of depth? By God’s grace I can still say, “I have no secrets and it is well with my soul.” How about you?

Grace and Peace,
Alan Ahlgrim, CSO (Chief Soul Care Officer)
covenantconnections.life