Wanted
Wanted!
True confession, I want to be wanted. And so do you. We never outgrow our desire to be desired. Linda just learned of a 90-year-old widow in a beautiful senior living center near us. She’s always been very active and socially engaged, but now in her new residence she not only typically feels alone, but unwanted. She said that when she goes to the dining room for meals, seeking friendly conversation, she is often told that a particular seat is being saved for someone else.
Everyone wants to be wanted. It’s not just true of middle school kids, it’s even true of seasoned saints whether single or married. Several of my tough guy buddies have been almost embarrassed to admit that they don’t always feel wanted by their wives.
It’s been observed that in every relationship one party desires the other more. Even after a half century of marriage my wife and I still want each other. I’ll admit that most days I want her a little more than she wants me. I often quip, “My wife loves our little get-aways, every time I get away, she loves it!”
The poet Kahlil Gibran once wrote: “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” It’s true. As much as I appreciate my wife’s presence, I appreciate her partnership even more. Even when she is off doing her thing, and I’m off doing mine, in the deepest sense we are still partners in life for life.
Solitude is a gift to us both; it’s really a yearning for God. While conversation and community are life giving, so are quiet spaces. We need them. We need to be embraced by the Lover of our soul. Our deepest desire is for the Divine.
Linda and I just shared a four-hour flight together, and we never said a word. She sat across the aisle from me lost in an enjoyable book, and I did the same. While air travel isn’t the ideal way for either of us to spend a few hours, it can have its benefits. Reading and reflecting can soar together as they both restore us and prepare us for what is to come.
Where and how do you soar? I begin every day quietly. I want to be alone. I want to gather my gratitude’s from the day before and ponder my plans for the coming day. I guess you might say I want to be wanted … by God.
Recently I was reminded again in Mark 3:13 that Jesus first called those He wanted to be with Him. I find it intriguing that Jesus retreated to enjoy solitude with His Father before He invited others to be with Him. Jesus wanted both retreat and relationship. It wasn’t either/or for Him, and it shouldn’t be for us.
As our flight landed our quiet retreat also came to a close. That was more than okay. We longed to see our youngest daughter and her family for the first time in nearly a year. We were ready. In fact, just to be sure our 9 and 11-year-old grandsons could pick us out of the crowd we were wearing name tags to identify us as “Grandma” and “Grandpa!”
We wanted to see them, and we wanted to be wanted! However, there are exceptions. As I’m now finishing this little piece, Suki, their little labradoodle just won’t leave me alone. Evidently, she thinks I came all the way to Maine just because I wanted to see her again!
Grace and Peace,
Alan
“He chose us (actually picked us out for Himself as His own) in Christ before the foundation of the world.” Ephesians 1:4 AMPC