Heart Strong
I long to live more in heart land than head land. How long has it been since you experienced an unhurried, unhindered, whole-hearted connection with a trusted ally? For leaders this isn’t just nice, it is necessary. It isn’t just optional, it’s essential.
Heart work involves bringing all of who you are with you in a conversation. There’s an amazing passage in 2 Corinthians that speaks to the importance of this.The Apostle Paul writes: “We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affections from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange, I speak as to my children - open wide your hearts also.” 2 Corinthians 6:11-13
I often finish a deep connection by saying: “If this were the last conversation we ever had, is there anything else you need to hear from me or you need to say to me?” That’s not something that happens quickly in a crowded coffee shop. Whole-hearted conversation requires a safe place, a safe person and an unhurried pace. Frankly, that’s sacred ground, and that ground must be cultivated. Relationships like this are by definition rare ones, because they demand the best of us all. They demand our hearts.
Early this year I gave away a lot of books… including one to my former college roommate. Bob is a good guy I’ve stayed in touch with over the years, mostly in a joking relationship. And as former roommates we’ve had a lot to joke about! He is a retired teacher and is now part of very large church and co-teaching a strong Sunday school class.
After I sent Bob a book he sent me a stunning text. He surprised me first with his determination to launch a soul circle with several other guys and second with his emotion about it! I had never seen or heard that from him. When I questioned him about this, he explained that he envied the fact that his wife had close gal friends but he had no close guy friends.
While Bob had tons of “connections” he had no one who really knew him at his core. That all changed with Soul Strength. Each of the four in his group shared at a level of depth that shocked even themselves… sharing stories of pain that no one knew anything about. One described the experience as profound; all refer to it as life changing. They now call themselves “soul allies.”
We all want to finish well….more in love with Jesus at the end than at the beginning and more closely heart connected with others because of Him. But that doesn’t happen accidentally, that only happens intentionally and at times, even courageously!
I just had lunch with one of my closest and most courageous friends, a true partner in my ministry of soul care. Steve is a big time business guy. He used to buy and sell businesses for a billionaire, and now he leads his own investment company in Boulder, Colorado. Steve has been key to the launch of the Soul Strength book and is endorsing it with his business connections far and wide.
During our last lunch he could hardly wait to tell me how he has just seen God work at a business meeting back in Michigan that was rapidly going south. Intense disagreement, anger and even hateful attitudes were erupting all around the table, and finally he had enough. That’s when he pushed back from the table and “went pastor” on everyone! He said, “Listen, we are going to lose this business unless attitudes change right now. You must set hate aside and love each other - give one another the benefit of the doubt or everything will collapse.”
Then he quoted something I had shared months prior in one of our lunches…a quote I found from Tim Keller that Steve now uses as a daily prayer.
“Lord, save me from the sins of my tongue and the flaws of character that fuel them. Make my words honest (by taking away my fear), few (by taking away my self-importance), wise (by taking away my thoughtlessness), kind (by taking away my indifference and irritability). Amen.” Tim Keller
When he finished sharing this personal challenge and prayer, the atmosphere in the meeting totally changed, and some were even in tears. Many privately thanked him afterward and asked for copies of the prayer. Now the company is headed in the right direction, but more importantly, some of those people are headed in the right direction with attitudes and interpersonal relationships. How did that happen? Not because Steve went “head to head” with 20 people in a business board room, but because Steve did the unexpected and courageous thing and went “heart to heart!”
This I know, it’s not the big heady stuff for which you will be remembered and have the greatest personal impact. It’s not your resume, it’s your relational legacy, your legacy of love. Make no mistake… soul strength is contagious. We catch it and keep it through those we choose to be in deep heart strong community with us! As Andrew Bennett once said: “The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart.”
Grace and Peace,
Alan Ahlgrim, CSO (Chief Soul Care Officer)
CovenantConnections.life